Zimbabwe's Social Network

..if 5 Rand, 4 Rand and 3 Rand have equal value

You know you are black Zimbabwean if...

1. You only buy carbonated drinks when you have visitors.
2. You bad-mouth the gvt but never vote
3. You think BORED means annoyed, frustrated or disappointed (as
in waakundibhowa manje)
4. You cannot count up to ten in your own language and are proud
of it
5. You think plastic bag and paper bag are the same thing.
6. You think buses STAND (bhazi rakamira) and cars DIE.(yafa ka?)
7. You think money can be EATEN. ( akadya mari yangu!!)
8. The Bus stop is called "after hump", "palight" or "at the giveway"
"pano mukuwasha", "by the rubbish" , "pamujakaranda wechi 2","padombo"
9. You think the whole of the U.K is London .
10. You think perfume and deodorant is the same thing.
11. You only go to the dentist when you have a toothache.
12. You think that Coca-cola is the generic name for all soft drinks,Cobra for all floor polish, Surf for all washing powder &
Colgate for all toothpaste
13. You hear the word WEDDING and immediately think of ma STEPS.
14. You know what DAMAGE is, in relation to marriage.
15. You have once named your dog after animals that are not
remotely related to dogs. e.g. Tiger and Spider

I once taught at rural school, OMG, the names......
Kidmore
Beverage (girl)
Tarven......
I will think of many more

Hanzi mumwe murume akadaira phone mukombi achidaidzira, 'Eh bhebhi, chikasika ka kubika kasadza, muriwo don't worry ndatenga pizza'

The safest way to clean your ears is not using the most expensive cotton buds on the market! It's way safer to use cooking oil, yes, cooking oil, just a drop in your ears for 5 minutes will desolve the wax and you can clean it with a towel.